| Home | Site Map | E-Mail Us | About Us | Notices Privacy Policy | Copyright 2005-2008 Javabird.com All Rights Reserved |
| The Life and Times of Javabird |
In the not too distant past in a land not all
that far away, there lived a couple of
young single ducks who had a little too
much too drink and got all quacked up
one day....
that far away, there lived a couple of
young single ducks who had a little too
much too drink and got all quacked up
one day....
It was well past noon when our two
feathered friends woke up in the
same nest. Oops! That wasn't
supposed to happen after the first
quack. It was then Harriet Duck
noted things were more than a little
amiss. On her little duck foot she
found she wore a fabulous diamond
ring, and even more amazing, right
beside the nest she discovered a
copy of a marriage license!
Harriet rubbed the duck goo from
her eyes and bent to look closer.
Yep, that was her name along
with…oh, my gosh, Harvey Duck!
Poor Harvey Duck was a little
slower on the uptake. All he could
think about when he woke was the
bone crushing pounding going on in
his head and the vile green tasting
stuff that seemed stuck on his
tongue. When Harriet turned to him
to say, “Good Morning, Sugar
Pumpkin,” Harvey about fell out of
the nest.
“Who the Duck are you?” he
quacked.
Harriet took another look at
her bright beautiful ring and
then offered up her best
smile. “Why I'm your new
wife, Snookums! Don’t you
feathered friends woke up in the
same nest. Oops! That wasn't
supposed to happen after the first
quack. It was then Harriet Duck
noted things were more than a little
amiss. On her little duck foot she
found she wore a fabulous diamond
ring, and even more amazing, right
beside the nest she discovered a
copy of a marriage license!
Harriet rubbed the duck goo from
her eyes and bent to look closer.
Yep, that was her name along
with…oh, my gosh, Harvey Duck!
Poor Harvey Duck was a little
slower on the uptake. All he could
think about when he woke was the
bone crushing pounding going on in
his head and the vile green tasting
stuff that seemed stuck on his
tongue. When Harriet turned to him
to say, “Good Morning, Sugar
Pumpkin,” Harvey about fell out of
the nest.
“Who the Duck are you?” he
quacked.
Harriet took another look at
her bright beautiful ring and
then offered up her best
smile. “Why I'm your new
wife, Snookums! Don’t you
remember? We got
married.”
“Married?” he gulped. The
shock was too much. As
Harvey nearly swallowed
his tongue, his eyes went
wide and he fainted.
We suspect you know how
these things happen. All it takes
is one little mis-duck-step. You
waddle into a fancy duck bar.
You see that cute green head
feathered bird on the duck stool.
You try to act cool and order that
unusual drink they’ve pictured on
one of those little plastic cards
on the bar. You know, a drink
with the really exotic sounding
name. Pretty soon, before you
realize one was enough, you've
already drunk about three. You
can see where this is headed,
can’t you? We are talking
plastered ducks here. They
couldn't waddle a straight line
down the sidewalk if their lives
depended on it. Fortunately,
they didn't have to fly anywhere
that night or it could have been
duck feathers for both of
them.
married.”
“Married?” he gulped. The
shock was too much. As
Harvey nearly swallowed
his tongue, his eyes went
wide and he fainted.
We suspect you know how
these things happen. All it takes
is one little mis-duck-step. You
waddle into a fancy duck bar.
You see that cute green head
feathered bird on the duck stool.
You try to act cool and order that
unusual drink they’ve pictured on
one of those little plastic cards
on the bar. You know, a drink
with the really exotic sounding
name. Pretty soon, before you
realize one was enough, you've
already drunk about three. You
can see where this is headed,
can’t you? We are talking
plastered ducks here. They
couldn't waddle a straight line
down the sidewalk if their lives
depended on it. Fortunately,
they didn't have to fly anywhere
that night or it could have been
duck feathers for both of
them.
JB is born...
We begin our real story here
because it was sometime during
the fog of that wild night that Harvey
and Harriet duck got carried away
and did the deed which resulted in
Harriet getting (ahem), you know,
with duck egg. Far be it from me to
judge such a thing, but it's worth
pointing out to the young ones to be
prepared!
It wasn't long before Harriet and
Harvey were doing an extreme next
makeover. You ever tried that? It's
not all it's quacked up to be. First
you got to get fresh straw and
string. Then you have to find the
right mud and goo to hold it all
together. Inevitably, you argue and
carry on about what goes where.
In any event, they finally managed i
We begin our real story here
because it was sometime during
the fog of that wild night that Harvey
and Harriet duck got carried away
and did the deed which resulted in
Harriet getting (ahem), you know,
with duck egg. Far be it from me to
judge such a thing, but it's worth
pointing out to the young ones to be
prepared!
It wasn't long before Harriet and
Harvey were doing an extreme next
makeover. You ever tried that? It's
not all it's quacked up to be. First
you got to get fresh straw and
string. Then you have to find the
right mud and goo to hold it all
together. Inevitably, you argue and
carry on about what goes where.
In any event, they finally managed i
it and it was just in time for
Harriet to sit on the egg. At
least, she did that until her duck
fanny was sore. Not to worry! A
bit of duck nagging and Harvey
came to give her a break. Good
old Harvey…at least he knew to
do that without breaking
wind…er, no that’s breaking the
egg. Sorry! Back to the
story…The trouble for Harvey, of
course, was he was a dreamer
and it didn’t take long for him to
think about other places he'd
rather be, like in the duck bar
flirting with the young single
birds. In fact, he was just about
to let his mind getting carried
away, when he sensed
something underneath him.
The sordid tale of a truly
whacky duck...
whacky duck...
Young Javabird or YJB as we
call him grew up well-loved
and very overdressed. It
turned out Harriet loved to
knit duck down parkas, which
as far as Harriet was
concerned were far superior
to any goose down parka.
Poor YJB! He could barely
move in his when they sent
him off to Duck school. It
was so bad he couldn't flap
his wings in class and all the
other ducklings made fun of
him. Poor, poor YJB!
call him grew up well-loved
and very overdressed. It
turned out Harriet loved to
knit duck down parkas, which
as far as Harriet was
concerned were far superior
to any goose down parka.
Poor YJB! He could barely
move in his when they sent
him off to Duck school. It
was so bad he couldn't flap
his wings in class and all the
other ducklings made fun of
him. Poor, poor YJB!
Summer passed and YJB moved
out of the house...Hurray! He
enjoyed his life as a free duck.
He stayed up late and partied
all night. He was determined
to life on his own terms and
when the summer starting
turning to fall he ignored his
friends as they all seemed to
be flying away. One day YJB
woke up to a howling
wind...and then the rain...and
then more rain...and
more...and well you get the
picture. Too wet even with
duck feet.
out of the house...Hurray! He
enjoyed his life as a free duck.
He stayed up late and partied
all night. He was determined
to life on his own terms and
when the summer starting
turning to fall he ignored his
friends as they all seemed to
be flying away. One day YJB
woke up to a howling
wind...and then the rain...and
then more rain...and
more...and well you get the
picture. Too wet even with
duck feet.
“Wait a minute!”
he shouted.
“Eureka! I'll go
south and find that
land of sun and
warmth. I don't
have to be
miserable. I am a
duck! I can fly this
coop! I'm outta
here!”
he shouted.
“Eureka! I'll go
south and find that
land of sun and
warmth. I don't
have to be
miserable. I am a
duck! I can fly this
coop! I'm outta
here!”
And with those words he flew off. He was in the air just a couple hours
when he realized the rain had stopped and he no longer needed his
parka or ear muffs. Off they went falling from the sky like bricks. “This
is hard work,” he said flapping madly, “but I can already see it's going
to be better down south. There's sun ahead! Real sun, not that semi-
filtered stuff like they got back home.”
when he realized the rain had stopped and he no longer needed his
parka or ear muffs. Off they went falling from the sky like bricks. “This
is hard work,” he said flapping madly, “but I can already see it's going
to be better down south. There's sun ahead! Real sun, not that semi-
filtered stuff like they got back home.”
One of his birdy friends told him a story one day. It was an intriguing tale
of warm lush forests and soft cool breezes. It was a land far to the south
where no ear muffs or parkas existed. It sounded at first like a lot of
twitter to YJB but the more he thought about, the more he wondered.
of warm lush forests and soft cool breezes. It was a land far to the south
where no ear muffs or parkas existed. It sounded at first like a lot of
twitter to YJB but the more he thought about, the more he wondered.
YJB flapped on and on
for hours, and then
days. The farther south
he went the hotter it
got, but there was no
sign of a lush paradise
or any of his
friends...still he was
determined to fly on
even though he was
getting very thirsty....
for hours, and then
days. The farther south
he went the hotter it
got, but there was no
sign of a lush paradise
or any of his
friends...still he was
determined to fly on
even though he was
getting very thirsty....
The flight went on and on.
YJB was now so thirsty and
hot he wasn't sure he could
make it any farther. He
prayed for a Duck Tavern so
he could stop and have a
brewsky, but nothing
appeared before him. He
looked below and saw a
desert wasteland stretching
endlessly. “If I go down
there now,” he croaked, “I'm
going to be just another
dead duck.”
YJB was now so thirsty and
hot he wasn't sure he could
make it any farther. He
prayed for a Duck Tavern so
he could stop and have a
brewsky, but nothing
appeared before him. He
looked below and saw a
desert wasteland stretching
endlessly. “If I go down
there now,” he croaked, “I'm
going to be just another
dead duck.”
YJB woke up famished. He
was starved, but room
service was excellent and
the hotel served the best
coffee he'd ever tasted. It
was paradise. It was
everything a duck could
want. When he thought
about home, he laughed
out loud. He was in
paradise and he might
never go back! “This is the
life, Baby!” he exclaimed.
“Oh, yeah...this the life!”
was starved, but room
service was excellent and
the hotel served the best
coffee he'd ever tasted. It
was paradise. It was
everything a duck could
want. When he thought
about home, he laughed
out loud. He was in
paradise and he might
never go back! “This is the
life, Baby!” he exclaimed.
“Oh, yeah...this the life!”
One day Javabird was basking in the sun on his hammock when suddenly
he heard horrible loud sounds. Then the earth shook, violently, knocking
him to the ground. “What was that?” he asked. Nothing would prepare
him for his worst nightmare...
he heard horrible loud sounds. Then the earth shook, violently, knocking
him to the ground. “What was that?” he asked. Nothing would prepare
him for his worst nightmare...
Great duck! Not another
Starlings MegaMart! YJB
got up and dusted the sand
from his duck butt. The
noise was now deafening.
He could tell it was coming
from just over the hill so he
flew the short distance to
check it out. When he got
there he couldn't believe
it...The scene was chaos.
There were large bulldozers
knocking down trees.
Worker Bees were sending
young hatchlings on their
way.
Starlings MegaMart! YJB
got up and dusted the sand
from his duck butt. The
noise was now deafening.
He could tell it was coming
from just over the hill so he
flew the short distance to
check it out. When he got
there he couldn't believe
it...The scene was chaos.
There were large bulldozers
knocking down trees.
Worker Bees were sending
young hatchlings on their
way.
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
“Harriet!” he shouted. “Come quickly!”
Harriet was never far away and raced to the nest. “What is it?” she
asked. “Is it time?”
Harvey could only nod and then had to get up off the egg for in the next
moment it developed an unmistakable crack and shortly thereafter a tiny
new hatchling was born. They called him Javabird.
Harriet was never far away and raced to the nest. “What is it?” she
asked. “Is it time?”
Harvey could only nod and then had to get up off the egg for in the next
moment it developed an unmistakable crack and shortly thereafter a tiny
new hatchling was born. They called him Javabird.
But winter didn't last forever
and neither did Duck school.
YJB was soon learning ways to
avoid his folks and strut his
duckiness. He especially liked
hanging around the wrong side
of the bird tracks. He found lots
of interesting chicks who didn't
seem to mind if he dressed a
little off and wore earmuffs.
It's hard to keep a determined
duck down and YJB was
certainly determined that as
soon as he could afford to
move out of the house things
were going to be different!
and neither did Duck school.
YJB was soon learning ways to
avoid his folks and strut his
duckiness. He especially liked
hanging around the wrong side
of the bird tracks. He found lots
of interesting chicks who didn't
seem to mind if he dressed a
little off and wore earmuffs.
It's hard to keep a determined
duck down and YJB was
certainly determined that as
soon as he could afford to
move out of the house things
were going to be different!
YJB was soaked to his duck shorts and feeling lonely and bleak. If this was
life, he thought, then I don't want it!
life, he thought, then I don't want it!
Gasping in hot lungfuls of air, YJB refused to give up and flew on
through the night. He wasn't sure whether he was dreaming at times,
but suddenly he realized it was sunrise and when he looked ahead he
could just make out a group of trees. “Could this be?” He asked. “Am I
dreaming?” Suddenly YJB saw it. The lush paradise he'd been
promised. Joyfully, he glided in for a landing in a large pond and
checked into a local bird hotel where he fell asleep exhausted and didn't
wake up for a week.
through the night. He wasn't sure whether he was dreaming at times,
but suddenly he realized it was sunrise and when he looked ahead he
could just make out a group of trees. “Could this be?” He asked. “Am I
dreaming?” Suddenly YJB saw it. The lush paradise he'd been
promised. Joyfully, he glided in for a landing in a large pond and
checked into a local bird hotel where he fell asleep exhausted and didn't
wake up for a week.
A crowd was gathered around a new building and as Javabird got closer
he could suddenly see what it was. “It's another one of those “Starlings
MegaMarts!” he gasped. “Here in the paradise! I can't believe it! They
knock down all the trees, tear up the land and where does that leave
us! It’s horrible! And look! They’re destroying that bird-friendly coffee
plantation!”
he could suddenly see what it was. “It's another one of those “Starlings
MegaMarts!” he gasped. “Here in the paradise! I can't believe it! They
knock down all the trees, tear up the land and where does that leave
us! It’s horrible! And look! They’re destroying that bird-friendly coffee
plantation!”
Needless to say, YJB was
steamed. This was the
worst insult. He thought
he'd left gigantic MegaMart’s
in the Pacific Northwest. To
have one here in paradise, in
the land of birds and shade-
grown coffee was outrageous
and certainly enough to ruffle
his feathers. I just know
there must be something I
can do, he thought.
steamed. This was the
worst insult. He thought
he'd left gigantic MegaMart’s
in the Pacific Northwest. To
have one here in paradise, in
the land of birds and shade-
grown coffee was outrageous
and certainly enough to ruffle
his feathers. I just know
there must be something I
can do, he thought.
There must be a way to make this right. YJB thought and he thought
and then suddenly it was like a light went off in his head.“Aha!” He
quacked. “I know just what to do...I'm going to organize! We’ll get all
the birds together and bomb it day and night. It’ll be so disgusting no
one will ever want to shop there!” This plan sounded so foul and
devious to Javabird he knew it would work. It gave him a new purpose
for his life. He would show them! Yes, he would! He was just about to
fly into the nearest town to find his first volunteers when suddenly, the
most beautiful “duckess” he'd ever laid eyes upon swooped down right
in front of his path.
and then suddenly it was like a light went off in his head.“Aha!” He
quacked. “I know just what to do...I'm going to organize! We’ll get all
the birds together and bomb it day and night. It’ll be so disgusting no
one will ever want to shop there!” This plan sounded so foul and
devious to Javabird he knew it would work. It gave him a new purpose
for his life. He would show them! Yes, he would! He was just about to
fly into the nearest town to find his first volunteers when suddenly, the
most beautiful “duckess” he'd ever laid eyes upon swooped down right
in front of his path.
Any thought of going off to work vanished in that instant. Javabird casually
ruffled his feathers and then strutted proudly after his dream duck.
“Ah, paradise!” He marveled. “A truly wonderful place!”
ruffled his feathers and then strutted proudly after his dream duck.
“Ah, paradise!” He marveled. “A truly wonderful place!”
| To view some of the original art of Shaun Novion click the link above. Shaun did most of the drawings on this page and helped with the Javabird Logo. Thanks, Shaun! We love your work! -J.B. |