About this time of year, our children come home from school and show off their creative art projects depicting the ever popular turkey.  Alas, if not for a fateful Fall evening in 1564 they might just be depicting a duck instead.  Now, for most of us, Thanksgiving is a time of family gathering whose sole purpose is to stuff our mouths and bellies to the gill.  Yet what isn’t well known among human folk is that the holiday has an entirely different history than that silly old Pilgrim story taught in our schools.  Fortunately, as the pre-eminent duck historian on the planet (as well as your sleuth for uncovering all things marginally relevant to our time), I can now tell you the almost partially true if not slightly less than patently false tale of Thanksgiving.  However, I must warn you, it isn’t pretty… Continue reading →

Human Bias

As the almost entirely ignored author of the series “Famous Ducks Of History” (occasionally found on these pages), I get an underwhelming number of letters from friend and fowl alike who write to tell me human history really ought to pay more attention to the facts.  I’ve thus made it a personal mission to set the record straight.  Take Benjamin Franklin for instance—now, there’s a man who gets more credit than he deserves. Continue reading →

A Tale Of A Tail

If you’ve been paying attention, you now realize most human traditions are actually inspired by ducks.  Alas, the story is no different in the case of the old Easter favorite “Peter Cottontail” for which Steve Nelson and Jack Rollins claim credit for the human version.  Now, far be it for me to deny them their rightful due, but Peter Cottontail, a popular song amongst Easter bunny followers, was and shall remain a blatant copy of Wally Burlaptail, the rap tune written by Sedgewick Smoothlips Lamar, one of the most famous rap quackers of all time.  Furthermore, according to the premier duck historian of our generation (a.k.a. me), the original song was not about the holiday of Easter, but was instead about a hip hop dance widely referred to as “The Easter”.

And in case you were wondering, here’s a picture of Wally doing his thang… Continue reading →

Impersonator? No Way!

The very word “impersonator” shows a blatant disregard for the history and majesty of ducks.  After all, had it not been for Elvis Ironly, the man fans came to know as Elvis Presley may never have achieved status as a star.  Naturally, since men write most history (yours truly being the notable and quotable exception), most historians have made Elvis Presley out as the orginal.  Sorry, Elvis P. fans.  It just ain’t so. Continue reading →